Adulting My PhD Journey

Within a PhD journey, it’s no doubt that studying is important. However, learning to make the time to be grateful & find joy while also making memories in between is also necessary.
I’m not a Google search engine.
I’m not a machine.
I’m vulnerable.
I’m only a soul traveler who takes a learning path to make sense of the world outside of my computer screen, journal articles, textbooks, & lecture videos.
So yes, I sometimes need a break to not breaking down.
‘Adulting’ a PhD journey is extremely challenging.
You finally have the ultimate learning autonomy you’ve ever dreamed of and also trying to not getting “lost” in it.
The biggest “enemy” is indeed yourself; not your supervisors, not your colleagues, not the submission competition, and all that.
It is because deep down, in the end, you knew that it takes more than just hard-copy-soft-copy thesis, graduation ceremony, academic dress, and doctorate certificate to encapsulate your PhD journey.
The more you embark on it, the more you’ve come to realize that you are also searching for “something” else. Something genuine in your innate wisdom that’ll continue to grow & expand your way of knowing, responding, and taking action where you’ll no longer be imprisoned by your own emotional roller coaster, insya Allah.
The wisdom of not knowing everything.
The silver lining of reasonable doubts.
Those will lead you to the way of trusting your own process of knowledge discovery from beyond your brain capacity.
Those will inevitably test your patience & resilience in a way you never thought possible.
The struggles of how you manage to mediate conflicts between your brain & your heart is the additional measurement to the depth of how you learn to point fingers at yourself first before doing so to others.
You may sometimes feel like giving up & in the worst case, you can find yourself suddenly feeling like running out of oxygen. In times like that, put everything down & give yourself a break out in the nature.
It works for me & I’m not ashamed of sharing my achilles heel embarking on this PhD journey out to the world.
May our mental health be as strong as our physical one, aamiin yra.



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