A Love Letter to Knowledge in my Brain (That’s Why I have BFFs named Heart & Faith)


I should…I have come to understand that having knowledge is not as simple as knowing something. Receiving information doesn’t always mean having knowledge. Yea, now I know that Mr.Know all doesn’t always mean Mr. Know-all-legible (Knowledgeable). Got that right! Not that simple…

What is the knowledge of knowledge? What is meta knowledge? Even if I have come to a definition of Meta knowledge, then, how vast is that going to be? Imagining it is like the bottom-up construction of knowledge….sporadic…spiral…never ending chain….

I have to know that I know things I need to know. Everything that seems so simple is actually not as simple as it used to be. Thanks Meta knowledge! You have succeeded to confuse me, to spin me around and have my mind to be restless at some point, which is good…at some point….

Knowledge…if only I had a chance to have you impersonated, I would question you”what has made you real?” “What can solidify you?””What is your highest standard of truth?” “How can you say yourself to be the truth of the truth?” “Why the truth is meant to hide as much as it is meant to be found?” “What’s wrong with you?” “Do you play game on us?” “Do you exist so that we could exist?”

Knowledge…having you means I have to justify through my beliefs, through what I believe in. From this point, I have to make inference from everything that I know will guarantee me the most truth. So far, I’m fluctuating. The basic premise is that to get the truth and avoid falsehood. Yes, you damn right it’s riddle-ish!!! Are you happy now???!!!

You have made me nuts!! Yes, they are right! The more we have become knowledgeable, the more dangerous!! Now I am feeling the danger. The danger of revisiting what I have believed in. The danger of reconstructing what I have understood as they are meant to understand. The danger of transforming (not reforming) what’s solidified already in my mind!!! Shoot!!! It’s not because I’m terrified of the consequences that I might degrade my pride by myself for myself to myself but it’s more because the restlessness would have a chance to end up as nothing! Yeah NOTHING!

Only if you, knowledge, can be impersonated, I would dare to ask who you are now.What role are you playing? Don’t mention destiny! You have nothing to do with it!! You are such a player!!! What a grandeur player you are!! Why do you have to live by the nature of evidence? So that I could justify you???!!! And if I have come to make my inference based on your other impersonation of falsehood,then who are you really? Wait, what are you really? Why are you so terrified to tell us, to show us your highest standard? Why do you have to make us spinning around and slipping around “treating” and “translating” you? Come on! You said yourself “life is not fair”…hey…now you have become unfair!! Why do you have to live by the nature of evidence? Why do you need existential generalization to entail?

So, now do you want me to make the inference that you are more than life or life more than you are?? Hmmm…ok….you know what? Whatever! It’s all because there are no steps in the reasoning that I can’t object, so I can always have that opportunity to always object you. A little relieved here…

Now I want something else. Call me greedy but I want something else. Some knowledge that I can justify through what I believe in that won’t cause me into false inference. Holy molly, that is so tricky! Thanks for being so tricky!!

Yes, don’t get me wrong but knowledge is all about business. The truth is all about business. One can constitute any truth that can function as basic inference to create false inference depends on how strong the causal chain of justification that will give it into an account. Playing god? Well, maybe, possibility is knowledge too, isn’t it?

I am so sure, beyond sure that for coherent-ist, there’s no room for transcendence. Want to bet? Well, all I can say is that it deals with the nature of evidence I talked just now. The brain has got to rule. There should be “warranty” in knowledge that has to assure that it’s going to work. Then, when something doesn’t work, don’t expect that they will consider it as knowledge. Probably it’ll be just pieces of disjunctions. Wait, but I have learned through this trial-error, through this falsehood, through these pieces of disjunction, through what I thought was right that turned out to be wrong. Then I have got a chance to re-foresee what’s considered as true, even though it’s not the ultimate truth I have been having now but I’m pretty satisfied since it is working so far.

Aaaah, they are right…they said becoming more knowledgeable means that more people don’t want you around because for sure it’s intimidating even though you don’t mean to be. You are rough knowledge. So mean…so rough!!! Now I know where Pandora box resides. No possibility of falsehood. No possibility of doubt, infallibility, certainty, even though when knowledge fails, no falsehood involved. No dependency upon falsehood. Isn’t it too good to be true? God! I bet it feels like heaven!! I want something like this permanently. I know…I know, I am being insensible, of course something like this is only temporary!!….ugggghh!

Explicate…explicate…explicate!!! Explicate me these series of disjunction. These causal chains of justification!!! Because I seem to always have defeaters: defeating statements that keep me from knowing. Often times, I encounter indisputable facts that really defeat me from knowing…zillion times! Yet, I am not going to give it a white flag. Not in my life. Not as long as I live! Go and try stomp on me…I’m not going to give up finding my own truth! Although it might be fallible for someone else’s truth, what the heck, I do care that I don’t care….

The delivery of evidence, circumstantial evidence, where do you guys come from??? Why do you have to play on us? Oh, I get it! That’s what has formed the brain huh? That’s the brain is for. For playing on facts, evidence! Brain is business. Yes sir, I get it!! Now I know why I have to have confirmatory experiments all the time for this big business. Otherwise, who’s going to take one into an account then? I’m not saying that it’s bad. Go figure!! It’s as easy as it is hard.

This is just a starter. I’m going to have something more, deeper, darker. At some point I’m scared, not that scared scared but really scared. Transformation now becomes a very terrifying word. Prerequisite steps will be revisiting,reevaluating, reconstructing, redefining, then there it goes transform (NOT reform!! Isn’t it everybody’s case to feel terrified of being out of the comfort zone? Out from our own bubbles?? Now I believe that wisdom is the inductive way of testing the knowledge; assuring the knowledge to always work all the time from time to time, from history to history, across dimension. No wisdom in neither in geocentric theory nor heliocentric theory, nor big bang, nor whatever theories might be. BUT, there’s wisdom in conscience. Conscience is not part of the brain. Then…is wisdom knowledge?

Wini, Jakarta 2010


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